What is Anger?
Anger is a natural human emotion experienced by everyone.
It commonly arises in response to perceived threat, frustration, injustice, disappointment, hurt or situations that feel emotionally significant.
When we become angry, a physiological response occurs between the body and mind and chemicals such as adrenaline are released, which may lead to:
• Increased energy
• Muscle tension
• Accelerated heart and breathing rate
• Facial flushing or sweating
• Internal sensation of heat
• Reduced impulse control
These reactions are part of the body’s normal threat and protection system.
How do we express anger?
We all express our anger differently and research suggests that we do so through ‘modelling’ behaviours we learn from our environment in early childhood. The three most common types of expression include:
- Passive
- Assertive
- Aggressive
Passive anger is characterised by internalising or bottling up difficult feelings and avoiding direct conflict.
Indirect expressions may occur instead, for example withdrawal, silence or avoidant communication.
People who engage in passive expression often fear causing upset or disappointing others and may prioritise the needs of others over their own.
Learning assertive communication skills can help create healthier ways of expressing needs and emotions.
Assertive expression of anger is generally considered healthier because it involves direct, respectful communication and appropriate self expression.
For example:
“I feel upset when I am ignored and I would appreciate being listened to.”
Developing assertive communication skills can support healthier relationships and reduce unnecessary conflict.
Aggressive expression involves externalising anger through behaviours that may harm yourself, others or relationships.
This might include shouting, criticism, intimidation, threatening behaviour or acting impulsively.
Many people who experience intense anger describe feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from reflection or acting in ways they later regret.
In practice, most people do not fit neatly into one category and may move between different patterns depending on stress, relationships and circumstances.
How can therapy help
The phrase anger management can sometimes give the impression that anger itself is the problem.
Anger is not something to eliminate.
Anger often carries information.
It may signal that something feels unfair, unsafe, emotionally painful, overwhelming or inconsistent with your values.
Sometimes anger reflects current stressors. Sometimes it develops as a long standing way of coping, protecting vulnerability, responding to threat or adapting to difficult experiences.
Therapy is therefore not simply about relaxation techniques or becoming calmer.
Depending on your goals and circumstances, therapy may involve:
• Understanding emotional triggers
• Identifying patterns of response
• Exploring underlying experiences
• Developing emotional regulation
• Strengthening boundaries
• Recognising unmet needs
• Working with thoughts, emotions and behaviour
• Improving communication and relationships
Therapy may help create greater awareness, flexibility and choice so that anger becomes easier to understand and respond to rather than something that feels overwhelming or out of control.
Practical approaches may include self reflection, behavioural strategies, emotional regulation skills, mindfulness, self compassion and learning new ways of responding to difficult situations.
Even if anger feels intense, persistent or difficult to manage, change is possible and support is available.
Medical disclaimer: The information included on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice by a qualified doctor.