Bereavement
Bereavement Services
Bereavement
Grief is a normal reaction to the death of a partner, parent, lover, friend, child, relation or colleague in many differing circumstances. The death may have been caused by illness, accident, suicide, murder or natural causes.
There is no right way of coping with a death; people respond to a loss in their own individual way. The way a person responds is partly dependent on their relationship with the deceased, but it also depends on their own personality and upbringing.
Everyone's experience of grief is unique although there are a number of stages that the bereaved person may go through, which include:
1. Denial - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
2. Anger - "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
3. Bargaining - "Just let him live to see the children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years with her."
4. Depression - "Why bother with anything?"; "What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
5. Acceptance - "Life goes on", "I can rebuild my life".
The final stage of grief, acceptance, is when you realize that life has to go on. You may still have thoughts of your loved one, but less intense and less frequent. You regain your energy and goals for the future.
These stages of grief may vary according to circumstances, such as the age of the person who has died and the manner of their death (sudden or expected). Grief, although normal, can manifest itself differently in people. Some people move through all stages and others can get stuck at one stage, in such cases counselling and psychotherapy can be especially beneficial.
Do not try to rush the process; there is no specific timeline for grief.
Bibliotherapy for Bereavement
Bibliotherapy refers to book therapy or a list of books that may be helpful in understanding a problem. There is wealth of books out there and it can be overwhelming deciding which ones will be most useful. Lewis Psychology CIC therapists regularly recommend reading materials to our clients. Below we have listed a book that our clients have found most useful.
On grief and grieving by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Bereavement Counselling and Psychotherapy
Talking about the loss in counselling or psychotherapy is usually helpful and allows a person to adjust to their life without the deceased. Therapy can help mourning by allowing someone to work through the stages of grief in a supported relationship. Counselling and psychotherapy can help in the following ways:
- Accepting the loss and talking about it.
- Identifying and expressing feelings related to the loss (anger, guilt, anxiety, helplessness, sadness).
- Living without the deceased and making decisions alone.
- Identifying ways of coping
- Understanding the grieving process
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Find the courage to continue.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) for Grief
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapeutic procedure that was developed by Francine Shapiro to resolve the development of trauma-related memories caused by exposure to distressing events. EMDR may be helpful after a time of normal grief, and may help resolve a complicated grief process.
Critical Incident Debriefing for Grief
Critical incident debriefing (CID) also known as critical incident stress management (CISM) is an intervention protocol developed specifically for dealing with traumatic events such as a suicide or death of a co-worker. It is a formal, highly structured and professionally recognised process for helping those involved in a critical incident to share their experiences, vent emotions, learn about stress reactions and symptoms and receive a referral for further help if required. It is not counselling, it is a confidential and educative process, sometimes called 'psychological first aid'.
First developed for use with military combat veterans and then civilian first responders (police, fire, ambulance, emergency workers and disaster rescuers), it has now been adapted and used virtually everywhere there is a need to address traumatic impact in peoples lives. Grief Debriefing is not grief counselling. It's a structured process to help participants understand the grief process and how it will affect them as they grieve.
Make An Appointment
If you would like to arrange an appointment, make a referral or require further information about how we can help please telephone our Wolverhampton practice on: 01902 827808. Alternatively fill out our online contact form.
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